screwed up..

yes, i go out yesterday, oh i mean the other day..

april 8 - me and dex go out a date. Seen each other at the mall, ride a bus all the way long to MOA. Headed to Baclaran church, pray, go to the mall, walk, hold hands, eat, watch movie, go home, slept on his shoulder and say goodbye to each other. And after all of this time, he haven't heard anything about me. I haven't reply to his text messages, even his message on fb.

Yes i go out, but it relieves alot of mem'ries. Memories from my awful past. Remember, August 8? if i'm not mistaken, that's the time that me and gino go out on a date at the same mall. And it's weird that within that day, i'm with someone else but it's totally a different me. Me, remembering my past on the same exact mall, reminiscing all of the things that we've done. I screwed up.................again. 

All of the things that we've done that day?. it makes me realize how tragic my past is. Remembering all of those mem'ries makes me sick. 

I've realized, that i'm not, i'm not over him yet. Maybe i don't really want to... I don't know. I really don't know. All i want to think is just to be happy again, to be over him, but memories, situations, they're not letting me, they're not. 

WTH, i'm trying. I hope i make it without you.