HIM

Hey..it's been a long time since the last time.

for the last few weeks, I made a very hard yet satisfying decision ever, leaving a man for another man.

I know that people might judge me for the decision I made, but they don't know the whole and true story, they don't know what I've gone through to finally decide, they don't know how hard this is for me.

They say I must wait for 3 months before I had another relationship again. I tried, it's hard. 

I don't want another 'friend zone', 'friends with benefits', 'no strings attached' type of relationship. I want a true and real one.

My own perception, 'I left a man for another man, tapos di ko paninindigan?'.

I know that things are fast. Ambilis ng mga pangyayari. We've been and know each other for less than a month, officially committed for 8 days, and yet, it feels like forever.

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I appreciate how he waited 2 hrs after his shift just to be with me, para lang ihatid ako hanggang dasma, araw-araw, kahit na puyat siya at walang tulog. Kahit na pagbaba namin ng Dasma, meron nalang kaming 30 min to 1hr na magkasama. Kakain saglit. Sasakay ulit siya ng bus pacoastal, sasakay ng FX pa Sucat at sasakay ng tricycle hanggang apartment nila. And it's 2hrs na byahe. 

I appreciate every little thing that he does to make me happy and smile.

Those moments when you get a surprise from him when you open your locker. Got a new wallet. Food all the time.

Thank you for always taking care of me baby.

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One thing that I hate the most is that he cannot feel appreciated. I cannot make him feel that. I don't know why and I don't know how. I'm doing everything to the best of my power to love and show him how much I love him. How much I appreciate every little and big things he does.

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There's no day that we don't argue about something since we're together or should I say, there's no day na hindi siya nagalit sakin. He gets angry on simple things. Yes, he's moody, sensitive, laging nakasimangot, conservative type when it comes to me, but above all that, he's charming, he's somewhat attractive for some girls (and gays, haha), he's sincere, he's galante, he always gives me food and never let me get hungry, he loves how I burp, he told me about how he feels, how he's hurt, why he's happy, he told me almost everything. And I appreciate that, a lot. He's willing to spend his whole life with me, have baby with me, and be his wife.

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For the first time in my life I found someone who doesn't support me from everything. He don't want me to get ink, tama na daw ang tattoo, gusto kong maghike ulit pero mukhang ayaw niya..haha Feeling ko nahanap ko na ung katapat ko.

Kasi for the past relationships, I'm the boss, I can do everything I want, I just need to let them know. Pero iba dito, iba sa kanya. I can say na sa ngayon, he's the commander and I'm the subordinate :) SA NGAYON LANG AH :)

I found someone, I often tell I love you. Found someone who doesn't want to wear a couple shirt. Found someone who gives me his phone just for me to text him because my f*ck*n' phone is dead. 

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I love how we shop together. I love how he stops me from buying clothes, bags and shoes. I love how we spend all of our available time together. I love it when I don't get to work just to be with him every night, spend most of our time in his apartment. I love how he takes care of me, makes me feel that I'm wanted, loved, appreciated and special. I hope he will feel the same. Maybe not now, but I have a lifetime to prove it to him. I promised.

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TODAY:

We simply argue about how I don't listen for what he says. He gets mad but eventually, nakipagbati din :)

I love him, and I appreciate everything. I appreciate him. I hope he can feel that.

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TOMORROW:

Off to Tanauan, Batangas para mamiesta and to meet his family :)

Excited much :)